


There But For The Grace of God, Go We

by jellybeanforest



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Tsum Tsum
Genre: Canon Multiverse, Getting Together, Language Barrier, M/M, POTS Stony Stocking, Suggestive Body Language, Tsum Tsums
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:07:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28537104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellybeanforest/pseuds/jellybeanforest
Summary: Cap-Tsum and Iron-Tsum end up in the MCU by falling through a crack in the multiverse. Though the Avengers can’t understand their language, there’s one thing they can easily elucidate about the tsums’ relationship, even if Steve is in denial about it.For athletiger for the POTS Stony Stocking 2020.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 17
Kudos: 66
Collections: POTS (18+) Stony Stocking 2020





	There But For The Grace of God, Go We

**Author's Note:**

  * For [athletiger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/athletiger/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [athletiger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/athletiger/pseuds/athletiger) in the [stony_stocking_2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/stony_stocking_2020) collection. 



> Athletiger prompted “Tsums reveal your soulmate.”

Tony insists he hadn’t been messing with the very fabric of the universe when a transdimensional tear had appeared in his lab and two creatures had fallen through, landing in a pile on his workbench. They are jellybean-shaped and the size of gerbils (though one is larger than the other), and their vocabulary is extremely limited, consisting entirely of the word “Tsum” like some sort of real-life Pokemon, but most-disturbingly of all, they are dressed in Captain America and Iron Man apparel.

“Are you absolutely sure you were not attempting to… I don’t know, bend reality to your whim?” Banner asks for the third time. He delicately uses the eraser end of his pencil to push a flailing Iron-Tsum (as he had dubbed the creature) onto its stubby feet, much to the displeasure of Cap-Tsum, who bats the offending writing implement away. He nudges Iron-Tsum to his feet himself, then looks up at the three men – Tony, Banner, and Steve – surrounding him, making aggressive “Tsum-Tsum” noises in a clear warning to ‘back off.’

“Right,” Banner says as he places the pencil back behind his ear. “My expert opinion – as far as anyone can be an expert on something so unprecedented – is that they’re multiverse doubles of you and Steve. You know, from a parallel universe.”

Steve observes the protective nature of his miniature doppelganger towards what has to be his universe’s Tony. “So… they’re teammates?” he hazards a guess, even as Cap-Tsum begins to nuzzle Iron-Tsum. He emits a purring sound as Iron-Tsum attempts to flatten himself into the table.

Banner tries to be diplomatic. “I think it’s more than that.”

“Friends?” Steve guesses. He reaches out to touch the rear of Iron-Tsum, reasoning that he’s the less feral of the two and it’s further away from the bitey end. Furious, Cap-Tsum rears up and tries to bite Steve, who withdraws his touch. Cap-Tsum than appears to mount Iron-Tsum from behind before unmistakably humping the smaller creature.

Steve swallows. “Uh…Very very good friends?” he tries again.

Tony crosses his arms, squeezing the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger. “For Chrissakes, Steve. They’re obviously fucking.”

“It could be a display of dominance,” Banner interjects.

Just then, tiny pink hearts start to appear around the duo but just as quickly dissipate into the ether.

Tony points at the two. “Really? And what are those, huh? Smoke signals for aggression?”

“We don’t know what those are in their universe. It could be anything,” Steve says. Even if the meaning seems rather blatant, they shouldn’t jump to wild conclusions.

“And denial is just a river in Egypt,” Tony adds, his expression flat.

The pink hearts increase in magnitude and frequency, the creatures' squeaky purring rising in volume.

Banner clears his throat. “Look, just because some versions of you are… in a relationship of sorts, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you two–”

“We’re not,” Steve states.

“Okay…” Banner taps his elbow, clearly uncomfortable. “So I suggest that we uh… maybe put them in a hamster cage until we figure out how to get them back to their dimension.”

It’s a solid idea, but: “You don’t think they’ll reproduce if we put them in the same cage, do you?”

Tony snaps to attention. “Really, Cap? That’s your concern?”

“I’m fairly certain they’re both male, but hopefully, they won’t be around long enough for us to find out one way or the other,” Banner reasons, looking at the tsums. “Besides, I don’t really have the heart to separate them. They might get separation anxiety. I’m going to go down to the pet shop. Just make sure they don’t get lost or trapped behind the dryer or stuck down the drain until I get back.”

And with that, Banner makes his exit, still shaking his head over the ridiculousness of the situation.

Tony opens a foil packet of blueberries. Slowly, he eats a few as the tsums watch and then dumps some on the table near them. Cap-Tsum swipes a blueberry, tasting it before grabbing another for his partner.

“They sure look happy,” Tony says.

The tsums move closer to the pile to nibble on the blueberries.

Steve has to agree. “I guess.”

“Say, you think that maybe…”

“Maybe what?”

Tony seems to think better of it. “No, it’s a dumb thought.”

“Try me.”

“You’ll just say no.”

Steve sighs. He supposes it’s now or never. “…Tony, would you like to go to dinner with me sometime?”

“Does this have anything to do with...” Tony gestures towards the tsums between them.

“No, I’ve been wanting to for a while, and… well, maybe it’s not such a crazy idea.” If two verbally-challenged Pokemon-esque versions of themselves can figure it out, how difficult could it be?

Tony smiles. “I’d love to.”

“Saturday at seven?”

“I’m not doing anything tonight, except…” he eyes the tsums.

“You could take a break for dinner. You got to eat sometime,” Steve suggests.

“It’s a date.”


End file.
